It’s never easy to approach the discussion about the possibility of moving a loved one into senior housing. My own experience with my in-laws brought this issue much closer to home and lead to the development of a checklist to help others broach the conversation.
My in-laws had lived in their same home for 40-plus years. Household chores and even their favorite garden became too much for them to maintain on their own.
Both of them were losing weight due to a combination of forgetting to eat and the hassles of shopping and cooking. Frozen fish sticks became a staple of their diet.
Mom, age 82 became disoriented and lost her way to the local grocery store. The police found her nearly 24 hours later, sleeping in her car 45 minutes south of her home. Of course the family was sick with worry.
Each time Mom or Dad grabbed the keys to the car to run an errand, we said a prayer. The multiple fresh dents on the cars were enough evidence of our concern for their safety and the safety of others each time they took to the road. Yet the delicate conversation about taking away their car keys was one none of us wanted to approach.
It was the combination of factors building over time that forced us to face the reality that a senior housing community could address many of the concerns that plagued our thoughts and kept us awake at night. Unfortunately, we were ignorant about the senior housing options and hadn’t a clue where to begin, what questions to ask and how to discern the “good” from the “not-so-good”.
We weren't even sure exactly what type of senior housing was most appropriate now and for the long term. Assisted living? A nursing home? A continuing care retirement community?
After going through the decision-making process and garnering input from geriatric experts, we prepared the following Caregiver Conversation Checklist to provide tips to have the open dialogue with the senior and other family members about senior housing. Let us know how it works for you and if you have other important considerations to help maximize the checklist's value to others.