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SNAPforSeniors® Senior Housing Blogs Offering unique perspectives on senior housing, seniors and aging in America. We invite you to read, subscribe, and send us comments. Your feedback and experience helps us and other readers too.
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Aug
15
Written by:
Eve Stern
8/15/2008 1:32 PM
It’s never easy to approach the discussion about the possibility of moving a loved one into senior housing. My own experience with my in-laws brought this issue much closer to home and lead to the development of a checklist to help others broach the conversation. My in-laws had lived in their same home for 40-plus years. Household chores and even their favorite garden became too much for them to maintain on their own.
Both of them were losing weight due to a combination of forgetting to eat and the hassles of shopping and cooking. Frozen fish sticks became a staple of their diet.
Mom, age 82 became disoriented and lost her way to the local grocery store. The police found her nearly 24 hours later, sleeping in her car 45 minutes south of her home. Of course the family was sick with worry.
Each time Mom or Dad grabbed the keys to the car to run an errand, we said a prayer. The multiple fresh dents on the cars were enough evidence of our concern for their safety and the safety of others each time they took to the road. Yet the delicate conversation about taking away their car keys was one none of us wanted to approach.
It was the combination of factors building over time that forced us to face the reality that a senior housing community could address many of the concerns that plagued our thoughts and kept us awake at night. Unfortunately, we were ignorant about the senior housing options and hadn’t a clue where to begin, what questions to ask and how to discern the “good” from the “not-so-good”.
We weren't even sure exactly what type of senior housing was most appropriate now and for the long term. Assisted living? A nursing home? A continuing care retirement community?
After going through the decision-making process and garnering input from geriatric experts, we prepared the following Caregiver Conversation Checklist to provide tips to have the open dialogue with the senior and other family members about senior housing. Let us know how it works for you and if you have other important considerations to help maximize the checklist's value to others.
Tags:
3 comment(s) so far...
I have lived here 5 1/2 years. through 4 changes of managers..
the new manager is going through books, and decides if we
paid our security deposit by her managers books.
I was told pay or 3 days to quit............................................
I did pay, its on my lease. I showed her and she said "Oh thats just
Your Lease and smiled away my proof. Said I needed check stubs..
or Money order...I showed her the overages I paid toward my security
deposit. she said no that was for late payment...
AT that time the manager was letting us pay a few days after we recieved
our SS check on the 3rd....
Someone, I dont ever raise a question as we are always afraid of being asked
to leave...This is in Salinas Cal. Most here are Hespanic and some just are not
understanding the reasoning..I also had to pay the back late payments that
I was told by there past managers it was ok to pay a little late....please answer
if I should go to a lawyer.
By Priscilla on
9/28/2008 3:06 PM
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Hi Priscilla,Thanks for sharing you situation. If there is a dispute that can't be resolved because you fear retribution of any kind, I urge you to contact your local senior ombudsman to help navigate this situation and they will provide you with guidance based on the facts. I am not in a position to recommend that you engage the services of an attorney or not. It sound like past management may have given you the leeway to pay later than your lease payment was due but now current management may not be as flexible.
It is wise practice to always keep copies of all payments, dates that the payments were delivered and invoices in your permanant records for at least 7 years. I suggest that you paste this link below in your browser to find your local ombudsman.These professionals are generally wonderful advocates and should be helpful to you.
http://www.aoa.gov/eldfam/elder_rights/ltc/ltc.aspx
Good luck! Eve
By evestern on
9/28/2008 3:10 PM
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I am grateful to be able to say that my husband was willing to be proactive in some aspects of future needs.
Two years ago, he had already had two open heart surgeries, stents, several strokes and a broken leg. He was unable to find his way home, so he quit driving. His balance was quite bad so he used a walker. We had already located a continuing care retirement center that we wanted to get on the waiting list for. When I initiated the discussion about how he would know what would be the right time to move to that location, he gave a common response, "I'm not moving until I have to!" Asking for clarification, I asked, "So, you're saying that you would only go after a medical event that would require you to go from the hospital directly to the nursing home." "Yes", he replied. "Then", I said, "since you have 13 bookcases of books, could you please take time now to look at the all and put little red sticky dots on the most important ones? That way when I have to sort the books later, I will know which ones to keep." "Why would you be sorting my books?", he asked. "Because", I reminded him, "your decision to only move when you have to, will not give you time to sort the books between the hospital and going to the nursing home." "Oh." he said. I am very grateful to him that I am able to report that he did just that and when he did have a debilitating fall last April that requires ongoing long term nursing home living, I was able to reduce his books to what I could take with me by using his red dots as my guide. I must also say that it is very strange having a husband and not living with him. All this is only a part of the reason I like to be supportive to seniors as they near the time of needing to sell their family home. That's what I like about being a Seniors Real Estate Specialist in the northern Chicago suburbs.
By CarolNevinSeniorsRealtor on
12/17/2009 2:33 PM
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